my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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