I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
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