Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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