i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
