I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
