Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
