Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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