i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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