It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
false alarm. still invincible.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
