Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
