Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
