You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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