dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
