using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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