That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
