I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
