well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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