Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
4 words: hood of his car
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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