My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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