I think i peed on brittanys purse
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
