it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Randomize
