I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
