she was so not down for the gang bang
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
