Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
