I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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