My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
