I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
