What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I need water and some morals
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
