I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Holy shit dude........stairs
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
