I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
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