I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
