No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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