are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
