have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
