dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
