I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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