just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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