white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
