Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
