I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
The adults are the big ones right?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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