What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Randomize
