Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
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