Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
