I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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