My liver just broke up with me...
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
