can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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