i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
