There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
