sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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