She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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